longing

tears, physical pain, emotional pain, loss, let-downs, death, greed, adulturery, suffering, heartbreak, SIN. i don't know about you, but i'm not a fan of any of those.

thank God this place is not our permanent home! this has been a tough week for me. there has been a lot of physical pain from surgery complications, emotional pain with the calendar reminder of the loss of my grandfather as well as friends' sicknesses, not to mention the talk of death everytime i turned around. yes, i'm aware that people die every single day, but when every tv station & everyone i know is talking about death at the same time, somehow it's tough to not think about.

how exciting is it that as christians, this isn't where it ends for us. we have such a hope & i truly long for the day to be with my Savior in a place where there are no tears, suffering, death, etc etc. i’m so excited to be in heaven one day where i won’t experience any of that ever again- what hope!

until then, though, we have to remember just how fleeting this life is and get to work reaching who we can. no, it's not the end of the world because michael jackson died or my grandfather died or a child in Africa who I will never hear of died, but boy does it make me want to reach who i can and long for the day of no more tears. thank you Jesus for that wonderful promise. so when is the rapture? i don't know, but i'm sure excited.

under the knife

i've always been pretty healthy. i mean, i'll get a cold occasionally when seasons change too fast, but for the most part i rarely see the doctor. i've had my wisdom teeth taken out, but that's the extent of my surgeries. you can imagine when i started having random pain in my lower right abdomen i chalked it up to a pulled muscle from working out or dance rehearsal.

when the pain worstened & spread all the way up under my ribcage on the right side i thought i should maybe head to the doctor. one thing you probably know about me - i HATE doctor's visits, needles, shots, etc etc. i mean, hate. the fact that i decided i needed to go to the doctor was a big deal in itself. my mom was like, dang, it must be bad pain for you to actually want to make an appointment.

i finally got worked in to see the GYN bc my regular doctor couldn't see me til 4 days later. they took my blood pressure, said it was low, & then did an ultrasound. the lady said all chipper "no wonder you're in pain, sweetie. you're little tummy is tiny & you have a 7cm ovarian cyst taking over in there." um, gross/yikes/whattheheck/etc.

after asking a billion questions, i was told that those are actually pretty normal/frequent for women & lots of times run in the family. (thanks, mom) haha. my mom & aunts have all had them, so that's probably what happened to me. it happens to women of various ages- lots of times if you take birth control that helps keep them from forming, but since i've never had a reason to take that stuff, well, yep. here i am.

surgery was scheduled for 4 days later. fastforward: surgery went super well. i forced the anesthesiologist to numb my hand with lidocane before giving me my iv. haha. they totally did so it wasn't too bad. i didn't get any nausea or anything. mom took a HILARIOUS video of me coming out of surgery. i have crazy eyes, but i'm totally smiling & saying hey like nothing happened. it's great. i headed home & began the recovery process.

things were going well until about wednesday. i noticed some swelling & pain near my belly button (incision site). the doctor worked me in & said that i may have a hernia. she sent me over for an emergency catscan. that junk is not fun. you have to drink a bunch of this NASTY "lemonade" yeah right radioactive doo doo juice & THEN they told me i had to get another iv. there was no one to give me lidocane this time so i literally almost cried in the ladies face. ok, i did. i cried. i can't help it!! it's my worst fear & my vagal nerve goes crazy & makes me panic & pass out.

miraculously i survived & we got a call that evening that the catscan was normal. i didn't have a hernia, but i did have a hematoma (aka pretty bad blood clot) by the incision site. i'm still in pain, not working this week, on pain meds, etc. they want me under a heating pad & are hoping that my body will naturally reabsorb the blood. if not, i may have a giant needle stuck in there to drain it (nooooooooo) or possibly another surgery. please please pray for the natural dissolving of the hematoma.

the good news is that i'm feeling better today. i still can't drive or do much, but i'm finally feeling a little bit more like myself. and i have the most incredible friends & family on planet earth!! my parents & sister have taken care of me like you wouldn't imagine. i've had calls & texts & messages from a zillion friends, family members, coworkers & even some of the families i work with! friends have brought me meals, i've received 2 edible fruit flower baskets, flowers, cards, etc. geez, could i be any more blessed? it's redic. God is good & even though this hasn't been the best 2 weeks, it's taught me that He is in control & that I have to trust Him through everything.

just praying for continued healing, no more doctor's visits or surprise surgeries, & my strength back. i'd love to get back to work next week & be ok to start getting back to rehearsals for hsm2 asap. feeling a little better every day. thank you, God!

and just for giggles & because i love you...
you're welcome:

rockin that thang

i only have a minute, but i just wanted to say life is soooo busy, but soooo good!!

hsm2 is going well- we open july 10th. i've met so many new friends & just love the cast! my character, blossom, is totally rediculous...all 3 of the sharpettes are. here's an example of a direction for us: "as fulton exits, the sharpettes (3 debutantes of Lava Springs/Sharpay's pals) rush over screaming their gushy greetings & air-kissing their leader." haha. can you imagine me doing that? that's why they call it acting. all we do is prance & sass around the stage & be annoying. it's awesome.


i went to see The Dream, Keri Hilson, Keyshia Cole, & Bobby Valentino the other nite-um, so good & fun. they were all really great live. i went buck wild of course. honestly i'm not sure what my real ethnicity is for serious. i want to be a back-up dancer for The Dream. they made me laugh. i also kinda wanna be keri hilson when i grow up.

here are a few vid clips from the concert- bad quality, but you can get the drift. loved it!

The Dream- Rockin That Thang



Keyshia Cole- Last Night



and while i was uploading the videos i found one of brandt & i singing at the video cafe. the sound quality is the worst thing i've ever heard (i'm talkin horrid), but oh well. it gets a TAD better 1/2way thru to the end. well not really, but i miss it!


God is doing work- just keep praising! much love, y'all.

cherrycase

1st of all, the read thru today was amazing. everyone is SO nice & hilarious & this truly is going to be the time of my life. i can't wait to work with everyone, learn it all & do work on stage with these talented folks. love them already!!! oh & just for laughs, my name is BLOSSOM. what the heck? haaaaaa!

2nd, can i tell you how excited i am that the guy playing troy bolton likes good music and is in a band that is actually pretty sick? it's good to have a troy who isn't cheeseball disney lame. (no offense zac, i love you). can't wait to go see them sometime. go troy aka jake. do your thing. check them out CHERRYCASE my favorite=Lethal Lies.

i just bawled over this letter

i got a letter from my sponsored child in Guatemala today and it made my heart so happy. he's too young to write a lot by himself, so his teacher asked him questions & wrote down what he said:

Dear Mellie:
Josue hopes you are trusting in God and that you & your family are enjoying blessings. Josue thanks you for the Christmas present- he got some trousers, a t-shirt, hair gel and a comb. He says God bless you. His favorite sport is soccer and he likes playing it with his brothers & friends. He has a dog called Peluso and he says he would like to chop firewood one day. He thanks you for the letter and photo, he really liked them. He wants you to pray for his father that he can accept Jesus in his heart. What is your favorite food? He says that mangos are his. He says goodbye and he sends you a tight hug and lots of kisses.

Oh my gosh, I love him. Give me a kleenex.

boys & theater

* i was thinking again about the man that fell down yesterday and the guys that stood around watching, doing nothing & it actually made me really thankful for all the gentlemen at midtown. i know without a doubt that any of them would have practically pulled muscles running over to him as fast as they could. it's good to have guys in my life that i can call on if i need to. thanks, midtown men.

* we have our 1st read through of the HSM2 musical saturday with the whole cast. i can't wait to meet everyone & get all excited about it. i wrote that i'm a sharpette & that i thought there would be 10-12 of us behind sharpay during her songs, but apparently there are only THREE!! looks like no hiding behind the group for me. we're actually her 3 best friends so it's a bigger deal than i even realized. i'm so proud of myself!!!!!!!

* there are going to literally be 13 performances & if it gets heldover, 24. GOOD GRIEF!!! July 10th-beginning of Aug. get excited- it's gonna be hilarious & awesome! i truly can't wait.

i need to vent

one of my kids canceled today because of a doctor's appt. so i thought- sweet, i'm doing my grocery shopping early! i head over to the store and la di da i'm walking towards the door & i see an elderly man with a cane lose his balance & literally fall pretty bad off the curb.

i immediately run over to him and look around to see if anyone else is coming to help. there are several people all around looking, but NO ONE comes over. not a single person. what the hell are you doing that's too important to take a minute to help an old man off the ground? my gosh. i tried to help him up & walk him to his car & literally almost fell down 3 times bc all of his weight was on me. he was all disoriented & stuff. FINALLY another WOMAN comes over & helps me with him on the other side. we get him to his car & i go in to buy him a water. i'm thinking surely when i come back out other people will be over there making sure he's ok. um, nope. he's all alone. people disappoint me. the males in that parking lot dissapoint me. i can't believe what i witnessed today. makes me want to pray even more for people to know Christ and learn to love their neighbors as themselves.

good reminder

"Today I accept my calling,
not to perfection or performance
My calling is to faith.
I have been chosen for this generation.
What Your Word says is mine.
I will believe and therefore speak,
For You, my God, are huge.
Nothing is too hard for you.
Our world needs Your wonders.
Rise up, oh Lord.
Renew Your works in our day.
I confess the unbelief of my generation
And ask You to begin Your revival of faith
in my own heart.
For you are who You say You are.
You can do what You say You can do.
I am who You say I am.
I can do all things through Christ.
Your Word is alive and active in me.
I'm believing God."

faith

Faith does not say, "I see this is good for me; therefore God must have sent it." Instead, faith declares, "God sent it; therefore it must be good for me."

Jesus Christ, Superstar

you know how freaked out & excited people get over seeing celebrities? can you even imagine how it's going to be when we see Jesus face to face? HOLY CAMOLY. blows my mind to the bajillionth power.