these are my confessions, holler back usher

it's been another hot minute since i've blogged. i actually got a sweet journal for christmas so i've been writing in that more & on here less. sorry friends! i've got a little break before my next appt. though, so i thought i'd hit this up.
lately...

- i am seriously obsessed with the game apples to apples. it makes me laugh so hard & when you have a good group playing, it don't get much better than that.

- i worked Fight Night for Kids again this year. it's a charity event at the Charlotte Convention Center put on by the Charlotte Bobcats & boy was it fun. they have a nice dinner, silent auction, live entertainment, raffle for some sick benz, and a few boxing matches. all the proceeds go to children's charities & i got to be a hostess. that pretty much means i was assigned a table to take care of all night & i had to wear a formal gown (whatever that is). i was right next to the bobcats' table. pretty cool. also, i really like watching boxing live. good times.

- we went on Midtown's Family Vacation last weekend. great day, it was the bomb. i learned so much, God really worked on me with some stuff & i got to know some amazing people in the family. it was neat to see people's hidden talents & participate in the "open mic/talent show," too.

the pop rocks debuted with a little dancey dance to some old favorites. i was kinda nervous bc i didn't know how "tame" to keep it (not like i was about to jump on a pole or something, but it IS a church retreat). well, let me just say that after watching flynnstone on the video, i probably could've taken it up a notch or 10. next time it's balls to the walls because my church likes to DANCE, thank God. my favorite part was eric's perfect timing on the pop rocks throw. amazing.

the pop rocks will be back in the not too distant future with some new material, so be ready.

- work is going really well, too. i still love it & i'm getting confirmation that it's where i'm supposed to be right now, so that's wonderful.

- my lifegroup is incredible. period.

- also God is doing some tough shaping & molding of me right now & i couldn't welcome it more. this identity series at midtown has been better than great for me. i've learned so much about myself & about Him. He's really been working on me as far as sin issues go.

i've never thought i had a problem with pride- for some reason when i heard the word i automatically thought of outward appearances. not sure why, but i did. so since i'm very rarely like "dang, i'm hot. i've got a bangin body, ha" i've never thought i struggled with pride for the most part.

well recently i've realized i'm prideful about soooo many things. i'm prideful about thinking i'm "different from a lot of girls" - "i'm so awesome because i'm laid back & cool & not boy-crazy, clingy & bitchy." how dumb.

i'm prideful in being "good"- that's the LAMEST. i pride myself in being a virgin & not being promiscuous, i pride myself in not having a super dirty mouth, not having a problem with alcohol, whatever the heck else. meanwhile i compare/compete, get jealous, judge, struggle with patience, PRIDE, insecurity, gossip & a bazillion other sins that are just as bad as the ones i don't do. thank you Jesus for dying on the cross to wash away the sins of dummies like me.

in my realization of pride issues & God working me down, i repented to 2 different people. in both situations i was playing victim & had the mindset that "i didn't do anything wrong here" when in reality that wasn't true. it was tough, but God helped me do it & i'm now completely cool with both of them. one of them was especially hard- i hadn't talked to her in seriously years. the tears just flowed when i prayed about what God wanted me to say. i was going to be ok when she didn't receieve it well, but what do you know, she apologized to me & we mended something i thought was gone forever. God is literally supernatural and can change any & everyone's heart, even mine. total breakthru. incredible things are happening & i'm ready for what' next.

- finally, "never have i ever been in love with zac efron".....MELLIE!!!!!!!! umm, awesome. did that really happen in front of 150 people? that's great.